Monday, April 27, 2009

Relationships. Friends. Friendquaintances.

Lately I've been having all sorts of conversations about relationships (platonic ones included). I guess it's just a part of life that's very important to us. Thought I should jott down some of my thoughts. Sometimes we have this idea or dream of how we think life and the future ought to look like. Sometimes we can get very carried away by our day dreams and miss out on the here and now. So here's a very fine example of that in my own life. At one point in my life I had this idea that I would marry this really talented photographer with a huge heart who (seemingly) had a similar vision to mine (ie, loved God, loved people, and enjoyed a lot of the same things I did, etc). We would not only build a wonderful life together, but with our powers combined... take over the world (maybe just the photography world heh)! Talk about being carried away. lol Even if the relationship would have continued this far, the reality might look very different from how I envisioned it. Life is sometimes very different from the way you dream it out to be, does that mean we stop dreaming? No way, jose. Let the old ones fade out, and you build new ones. But it's always good to keep in mind to be flexible. At this point, do I feel like I've missed the very best? No. The new ones won't be like settling for less. They may look different, but I think they'll always be better. :) I heard an older, wiser woman tell me that the best is always ahead of us. Don't expect any less.

(Side note: Basically, don't live in the past or be too focused on the future. Live in the present. Some older people have been saying that only when you're younger can you afford to live with this kind of mentality and afford to have risks. When you're older you need an insurance policy for the future. Maybe I just want to live more dangerously. I sure hope it doesn't change for me, and I can live more by faith.)

That being said... why is it that we always mostly think the grass is greener on the other side? For example if you're single, it's better to be in a relationship or vice versa. The present is a wonderful place to be. So many opportunities to pursue. There's
too many things I want to do all at once. Swing dancing, salsa, guitar lessons, cooking classes, tennis, running, bowling, hiking, rock climbing. Yep. This is all on top of my photography work and traveling. I think I might have to prioritize this list. My 30 before 30 list is coming soon. :)

And even more important than those activities, what about growing your current relationships with family and friends. I mean how much time do we really have to spend time with our family and girlfriends after we're married? With all the activities I want to be involved in and people I want to build relationships with, I'm coming to realize how much more precious time is. I read/heard somewhere that you can only develop strong, intimate relationships with 12 people (including family) in your life? Any more and you begin to spread yourself out thin. Makes you want to be more intentional with all your relationships. Here's an interesting article a friend posted on Contacts vs. Friends: Bridging & Bonding and Person-Centered Planning. Something to think about.

If that's really the case, can you easily identify who your 12 close friends/family members?


Just wanted to leave you with a few photos of some special people in my life over the years. :) I love all my guy friends too... but as my photog mentor once said, 'girls are nicer to look at, and they get way more hits'. haha ;) XOXO.














2 comments:

kjow said...

this is such a great post! well written and directly from the heart. :) it really made me think about my own circles of friends and how i try to juggle different activities and interests.

Esther Julee said...

Yeah. :) 12 friends ONLY! haha